101 Songs You Shouldn’t Sing on TV—Where Everybody Knows You’re Gay

#13—Where Everybody Knows You’re Gay (sung to the theme song from the TV show Cheers)

STAR RATING SYSTEM:

One Star: Even potheads can sing this.
Two Stars: Most reasonably sober people shouldn’t have much trouble.
Three Stars: Read it through first, preferably to the music.
Four Stars: If you can sing this without rehearsing, you’re definitely gonna get laid tonight.

…where each song is rated thusly.

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SMALL, INNOCUOUS, PROBABLY IRRELEVANT DISCLAIMER: The lyrics presented in this karaoke bible do not necessarily reflect the author’s political or religious views, sexual or smoking preferences (ref; Fudge Packer and Vote In The Reefer), or personal bitterness against politicians—but in some instances, they may.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Two Stars: Most reasonably sober people shouldn’t have much trouble. (Listen to the original while reading the alternate lyrics.)

Making your way past bigots today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from homophobes
And remembering that you’re hot
Isn’t it great to be a gay?

All those nights when you get in fights
Because you sometimes swish
It’s the way of nature
But at times you have to wish
They’d get a life and leave you alone

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows you’re gay
And they’re always up for play
You want to be where you can see
Leather chaps, penis straws and brie
You want to be where everybody knows you’re gay.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Cockster is dead
The morning’s looking bleak
Your shrink is running for Congress
To vote against you freaks
And your boyfriend wants to date a girl.
Be glad there’s one place in the world

Where everybody knows you’re gay
And they’re fans of Tina Fey
You want to go where hot guys know
Who gives the best bee jay
You want to go where everybody knows you’re gay.

 

2 thoughts on “101 Songs You Shouldn’t Sing on TV—Where Everybody Knows You’re Gay”

  1. One more reason to move to Costa Rica…the intolerance in the USA is maddening! That and the Republican Primary Candidates…have you seen a sadder bunch of losers? I can’t bear to watch.

    1. At 90% Catholic, the country on the whole “disapproves” of the Gay life, I’d say, but the great thing about CR people is they’ll still bake you a cake no matter who you’re sleeping with. They seem to be more inclined to live and let live. Republicans, on the other hand, with all their rhetoric about a hands-off government, still feel inclined to assert control over your individual life. Cheers!

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