Random Writings—How to Unsubscribe

Rated G

How to Unsubscribe


It suddenly occurred to me (like a hot fist at the end of a wet kiss) that some people may no longer wish to ever receive a communication from me again—not in this life and, hopefully, if there has to be one (which I hope there isn’t), the next. Thank you, Garo, for bringing this to my attention. You are correct, of course, and exercising your right to protect yourself from further subjection to my random acts of transparency and the crusades, campaigns, disappointments, complaints and personal commentary that sometimes accompany them (which may be deemed irritating to some).

To make it easy, all you have to do is choose from the following two statements and copy and paste the reply which best suits your feelings about my attention-span pressing e-missives (note: no foul language). If you choose A, you keep getting my blog-like slant, bird’s eye view, terse yet grammatically close-enough vocabulary, imagined incisiveness, and the crux of my near-proverbial biscuit (with reasonably correct punctuation). If you choose B, you’re telling me to suck eggs (if I can find any) and never to put a hurt on your nose with my literary Stinkfoot again.

Please only choose either A or B, rather than neither:

(A) Keep up the good work, Sport.


(B) Goat testicles (I’ll know what you mean.)

If you use the Ignore button (not worth looking for) your mailing list status shall remain unchanged.*

*Does not apply to people whose email address I don’t have. All replies will be confidential until you Reply All. All other Disclaimers, whether real or imagined, are in effect. No animals were hurt during the production of this, these, or any future exercise of free speech undertaken by Sender. All coincidences are coincidental, meant to be incidental, but not necessarily limited to, or by, what may be considered confidential, circumstantial, celestial or anything having to do with circumcision.

Sorry for any inconvenience,


6 thoughts on “Random Writings—How to Unsubscribe”

    1. Actually that was a test of the email alert plug-in I just installed. It works! I’m so technological now it scares me. Now if I only knew how to boil an egg….

  1. Well, I want to keep receiving your blogs. That, of course, is different from “keep up the good work” which seems to imply giving a blanket approval and acceptance of all past and future work. As your long time friend and as a duty bound New Yorker, I am prohibited from doing that. But keep sending that “stuff’ and I’ll keep reading!

    1. Okay that’s fair enough. No pre-approvals necessary haha. (Fucking New Yorkers, such a pain in my ass…) This was sent to my neighbors——some of whom are, apparently, squeamish about language.

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